Moments Outside are Important, But…
A lot of people may know this about me, I have been dealing with an anxiety/depression issue for the last few years.
This is Keith by the way.
I’ve decided to start blogging again because…turns out that shit don’t go away easily. I feel like I had a better understanding of myself back when I was regularly writing. I don’t have a plan of what I’m going to write about every week on this blog.
I hope to try to help people find the outdoors. Discover adventure. See nature. And that looks different for everyone.
Here was my thoughts on nature breaks from about four years ago: https://info.deuter.com/blog/overcoming-depression-with-nature
Back then I was saying the same thing. Take small trips into nature or a break outside for a bit. Whatever.
Well….what happens when depression has pushed you completely passed the point of caring to do the things you know will be good for you?
What do you do then? You can’t just go outside. I was doing that constantly. It’s really easy when you live in an rv to find nature or moments outside.
But…
I had some of my worst panic attacks I’ve ever had. I’ve had some of the darkest moments. I’ve been wildly depressed. ignoring relationships, being angry for no reason, throwing my hands up in the air and saying, “Fuck it. I am quitting everything.’ I’ve yelled into a pillow until I couldn’t breathe. I’ve been so sad that I threw up.
All the while…I’m outside all the time. I have all sorts of moments outside.
Moments outside are important, but getting help is way more important.
I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful support system in my family. Chelsea has got me going with a Therapist. We’re working through Better Help. It made the most sense since we’re traveling a lot and not able to make it back to town for weekly sessions.
I’m not gonna dive into what is caused my depression/anxiety here, because at this point I’m not really sure….well aside from some misfiring in the brain.
I like Better Help’s tagline on their site: you deserve to be happy. I started reading a book called You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. It’s been wonderful and one of the tips I took from it was making personal mantras; one of mine is to repeat “I deserve to be happy.”
I also am reading a book by Terrance Real called I Don’t Want to Talk About It that dives into the world of “covert” depression in men. It is fascinating and the more I start to see the more I can see what he’s talking about saying that many men, if not most, are dealing with covert depression. And they have been for a long, long time. Mine has just become overt in the last few years.
Links to those books below.
So, yeah, moments outside are important, but it takes a lot more than that.
Get help - like from a professional. Better Help is great.
Change habits - I started eating healthy and quit drinking soda. I found this website and it has been nice to start eating some of the foods suggested to increase positivity. The soda thing…right now it still sucks to not drink soda.
Take your moments outside - meditation in nature is wonderful. It doesn’t need to be an amazing view that you hiked 10 miles to get to. I honestly get most just sitting in the camp chairs I stole from Brian right outside.
4. You’re not alone - I really think there are a lot of people who are trying to take on depression/anxiety by themselves. Please stop doing that. You might be able to keep it at bay for awhile, but at some point its gonna rear its ugly head and its not worth hurting yourself or others over.
There’s a lot more that could be said, but I’m not a professional so…I’m mostly just trying to bring awareness to people.
You should go talk to a professional.